“Honey, I think you should go for it,” Dixie said
firmly. She rarely considered strongly
advising her husband about anything.
Generally, she chose to take an encouraging role, usually just agreeing
with him. This time, though, she could sense
that he needed a push.
Bob Griffith sat silently at the kitchen table. His mind was racing with arguments against
and for this. He had never submitted
himself to public scrutiny. It bothered
him to even have anyone run his credit because it made him feel vulnerable and
invaded.
His silence let his wife know that he had not heard
her. She saw this look before when he
retreated inward with his thoughts. It
was a skill that he developed, being able to shut out everyone and everything
so he could think. Many times, she had
admired this quality, but not now.
So, she moved to stand right beside him. When his head did not move to look up at her,
she placed the dish towel she had been using, on his hands. The wet texture captured and returned his
attention back to the present.
Placing her hands on her hips, Dixie leaned into her
husband. She was not going to allow herself
to be unheard any longer, at least not in this conversation.
“I think, Bob, you should go for it.”
She planted a kiss on top of his head. She knelt to bring her face level with his,
assuring herself of eye contact.
“You need to do this.”
Bob could tell in her tone that she was resolute about
this. It was certainty that permeated
from her. There was no hint of doubt or
hesitation. Clearly, for her, it was a
decided matter.
Playfully, he picked up the dish towel and tossed it at
her. He smirked then looked away. Bob did not like for his wife to take
control, especially in a decision like this.
In his heart, though, her words sounded right.
The twenty-eight-year-old husband stood. His lean body was the result of a combination
of his youthfulness, and occasional workouts.
Oh, and there was the summer softball league.
His mind was sharp.
Bob was a mid-level manager at the local production facility for a
national fencing company. Many of his
recommendations had been adopted to streamline processes. Once, he was even able to convince the plant
manager to consider and then obtain, a twelve percent wage increase for the
senior production crew members.
Bob and Dixie faithfully attended the community church, a
non-denominational local ministry. They
contributed generously. They were drawn
to the active participation the church had in community service, from, school
supplies for several elementary schools, to a food pantry.
Dixie was drawn to Bob by his balanced life. They met seven years earlier. Bob was a senior at the state university,
studying business. He had avoided dating
the first three years in college, because he did not want to get distracted
from his studies. By his senior year, he
felt confident that he would complete and graduate from the business school of
the university and so he passively began looking to date.
Dixie was two years behind him in school. They met in a core class that Bob had managed
to avoid his first three years. Now, if
he did not complete it, graduation might be questionable. He avoided the class earlier only because he
wanted to cater first to his personal interest and second to the mandatory coursework
that a liberal degree required.
They were both assigned to a team of eight that was required
to complete the major project for the course.
Their team needed to meet outside of class time to coordinate roles and
duties for the project.
At the first of these outside class time meetings the other
six team members were late, giving Bob and Dixie a chance to get
acquainted. There was an instant
connection between them. They made a
point to spend some extra time before and after each meeting that followed.
Once the team project was done, they decided to continue
seeing each other. As they dated, they
fell in love. They found themselves
quite compatible in their worldviews, faith issues, and general perspectives.
Though he was a very private person, Bob found it easy to
share the details of his life with Dixie.
She was a good listener, who showed no indication that she was ever
judging him. Whenever he seemed to
waffle or contradict himself, she would call him on it quickly. Though it frustrated him the moment it
happened, he realized that she was encouraging him to become a better man. He liked this.
Dixie was far more outgoing than Bob. When it came to social situations, it seemed
like she was always having to pull him along.
His social side seemed undeveloped, even immature, to her. Though she could have been easily frustrated
by this side of him, instead, she took it as a challenge. If she gained his trust in other areas, she
was convinced that he would trust her enough to come out of his social-inhibiting
cocoon.
At times, their dating did not feel like dating at all. It was their friendship that grew faster than
their romance. While neither of them
pushed the physical aspect of their relationship, the result seemed to be a
greater respect for one another. There
was never a hint of jealously on the part of either one of them. They could be apart and be fine with
that. For them, it did make their time
together more enriching.
Bob had been hired right after graduation into an
entry-level manager position. The work
came easy to him, so he focused on developing his leadership skills. As he learned better how to lead and work
with people, Bob began to gain favorable attention from all levels of
management. He was becoming an
up-and-rising star.
Dixie was finishing up her bookkeeping studies. Working with numbers came naturally for her,
but what interested her more was interpreting them. She was not satisfied with figures only, she
wanted to know what they meant.
Two years after Bob graduated, they got married. They decided to wait until Dixie had also
graduated. It was hard for both, waiting
those two years. Several times they
discussed not waiting, or living together, but they shared a Christian faith
that encouraged them to wait until marriage before they slept together.
“Ok,” Bob said. “I
will run for mayor.”
